How To Survive In High School

1. Relax and go easy on yourself. Try not to take the whole "you're an adult now" thing too seriously. You have some room for mistakes, so use it. Nothing's worse than trying to pretend you're the most competent person ever when you forgot your wallet and accidentally flashed the bus driver. Sure you're going to screw up, forget stuff, lose crap, and say/do things that are bowel-crunchingly, horribly embarrassing, sometimes loudly and repeatedly. It's OK. You can laugh at yourself as loud as anyone else.

2. Take care of yourself. And your feet. Yes, flats are cute, but if you're me and you climb thirteen stories per day going to your classes, your feet will bleed by sixth period and let's be serious, that's not worth it. Get Docs or Converse, and skip the hammertoes and bunions. Remember, stitches and Band-Aids are rarely sexy. Newsflash: Most guys (especially in high school) don't notice as much as you think they do. Don't stress about the precise length your eyeliner extends to, or if you concealed every zit perfectly. Some days you just have to fuck it and pretend it doesn't matter. However, you will feel better about your appeance and your life if your nails look neat, you have eliminated your unibrow and your bra fits. If you hate your legs and feel better in sweatpants than a miniskirt, don't wear a miniskirt. All you'll feel is stupid.

3. Have some backbone and an attitude. Just because you're too young to vote doesn't mean you're a total idiot. Don't ignore the fact that your English teacher just blatantly played favorites, your best friend's boyfriend kind of beats her, or you're very fed up with your friend Dylan's 40-minute egocentric rambling monologue on how much your favorite band sucks. It's okay to walk away, shout, or grab the nearest piece of paper and cover it in obscenities before burning it. Yeah, stuff is going to piss you off. Take a deep breath and piss back.

4. Don't beat on yourself. This is not one of those crappy "Love yourself! Accept your thighs!" paragraphs, because a) I'm not a smug 30-something yuppie and b) I weigh more than you do. Saying things like "But I'm so ugly" and "No guy would ever date me" is only going to bother other people, whoever they are, and make you feel worse about yourself, as well go a long way towards making those statements true (er). It's always hard when all the magazines and your crush like is Blake Lively and Agyness Deyn and you more closely resemble Rowan Atkinson. That doesn't mean you have to admit it, for Christ's sake.

5. Do things that make you happy. Don't worry about being cool. If you can't deal with going to Peggy's house again or seeing whatever godawful rom-com Sam would prefer, you don't have to. It's totally legit to sit in your house with The Birdcage and a Coke float, or write four moaning pages in your Moleskine about the boy-drought at your high school, or even spend the afternoon struggling on guitar or applying weird colors of eyeshadow if you feel like it. There's no need to think "I am such a loser" or "If this was in a movie, it would tank." It's more important that something feels good and makes you happy than looks good and makes others happy.

Hope that wasn't too preachy...but it was heartfelt, if that makes it better.

OTHER THINGS YOU'LL WANT:
The Doom Generation
"Surfer Rosa" by the Pixies
John Hughes movies
A diary no one else knows about or can read
"Barnacle Goose" by Born Ruffians
"Blood, Sweat and Towers" by the Towers of London
Chuck Klosterman books
A good blogroll (this should be a mix)
Pot Psychology videos from Jezebel
A pet/stuffed animal